I have an Itch

Yep, and it cannot be scratched until - well till I am better. I want to get back to training now. I'm feeling probably close to 80% better now and the pressure in my head is subsiding hour by hour. So, hopefully by tomorrow I will be able to give Jodie a call saying that I think I'm good to go. Last instruction from her was that after I feel better then I still have a further 2 days of recovery. So things are looking set for Wednesday and that will mean I would have had a week off training. Do you think I'm going to feel it when I get back?

Me thinks I will.

I tried washing my car yesterday with help from my youngest and my Mum whilst Stephen was out mowing and just the few minutes I spent doing that little bit of activity was enough to have me in sweats. The first session back will be interesting.

The antibiotics I am on are working well - although they are upsetting my guts a bit even by having them with food. Beggers can't be choosers. I just want to be 100% better NOW. Can't wait till Wednesday.

Thankyou to each and every single one of you

"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light."

-- Albert Schweitzer

Yesterday was such a BLAH day. Talk about a flurry of emotions - almost like a Tsunami that engulfed me. I was trying to stay rational but the ever increasing pressure in my head was not assisting in a clear thought process. I know this all sounds highly emotional and believe me looking back I can see how this may have looked. However that being said I think this shows how much I love what I am doing and how heart breaking it would be if I could no longer do it. I've never wanted anything so bad in my life.

I want to thank everyone so much for all of your kind and thoughtful emails and text messages via my blog, FB, DM and personal messages. Having you guys think so fondly of me made me feel better, and I really do mean that. You all helped me keep my thought's in check and made me see that I was still going to get to reach my goal. This was merely a small blip and that in the grand scheme of things it was better it happened now and not 2 days before the 70.3.

So with that being said I made an appointment with the GP and headed there this morning and have come out with a whopping dose of Doxycycline for a very bad sinus infection and the beginnings of a throat infection. No wonder I felt so very bad yesterday and not much better today. I have already taken 2 tablets today, and have been using the old FESS spray to help clean out the old passages - with much added relief.

After speaking to Jodie my coach I am not to return to training till I feel 100% better. Upon feeling better she will revise my training plan to wean me back into it so I don't fall sick again. I'm so lucky to have a great coach - one who really listens to you and has nothing but your best interests at heart.

I am just so lucky all round to have amazing friends and family. Now it's time to rest and recoup and get to feeling like my old self so I can get to this dream of mine and NAIL IT.

It doesn't feel like it.

When I started writing this blog over a year ago, my aim was to one day have something to look back on and feel proud of. I wanted something to show my children that whatever it was you wanted to achieve you could - all you needed was drive and determination. And above all else to enjoy what it was you were doing.

When I started this blog over a year ago I promised myself that I would be brutally honest about how it was I was feeling every step of the way in the hope that by doing so I would be able to work through it and see clearly. That whatever it was that was masking or clouding my thoughts would be blown away like a cloud on a windy day just by be able to air it in writing.

So I write this post more so to help me through whatever it is that I am going through at the moment. To help me realise that this is merely a small blip on the radar - and that there is nothing to fear. That all my training to this very point will help see me through the fact that getting myself off of this couch is the very hardest thing for me to do at this very moment.

Since yesterday lunch I have had such lethargy that it is hard to put into words. I don't know if I feel sick or if I am coming down with an illness or whether my body has just said STOP. My eyes have felt like they have been on fire for over 24hrs yet there is no temp. My body feels like a bag of Jello but yet heavy with every step. I feel so dehydrated yet I am drinking like a fish. And all I want to do is cry - because I feel like I am so close to achieving my dream but scared that I won't get there.

Is it possible for a human body to feel so high and strong one minute and so low and weak the next? Is it possible to feel invincible and ready to tackle anything that stands in your way and then in the blink of an eye feel frail and ready to curl up in a ball. The rational side of my brain says this is nothing and that all you need is rest and to not take it would be frivolous yet the other side of my brain is scared and hoping I haven't gotten to as far as I can go and this is all I have left.

I really hope not, surely I have more. Just at this moment it doesn't feel like it.

SMASHED.

With 39 days to go till my first ever 70.3 I can safely say now that I am getting close to saying "I cant wait to taper". I am starting to get slowly more tired physically and things are starting to ache more than normal. My eyes are getting heavier and harder to open as that alarm goes off in the dark mornings and I wonder if it is normal to feel a little "I'm slightly over the early mornings".

I still enjoy the training and the feeling of getting better and better everytime I head out the door but I AM having to push myself mentally harder and harder.

Prime example - yesterday was my longest run to date and although I am happy about it I just wasn't feeling it at all. Right from the very beginning I struggled to get out of bed trying to find to excuses to stay in bed - too dark, too cold, didn't get a good nights sleep, felt smashed from the weekends training- it took so much mental strength to drag my sorry behind out of that warm, comfy bed.

Whilst sitting eating breakfast I called upon the collective strength and determination of my friends on DailyMile to help get me through this mental funk so I could do what is was my training plan called for - a 2hr run. The previous night I had a tonne of my friends on FB give me much needed encouragement too.

So as I headed out the door to quite possibly the most foggiest morning I have ever seen I really tried to stay focused. Focused on keeping my mind in the game and staying on track. The first hour wasn't too bad - it wasn't great great but it was ok. My legs did feel very heavy and it did take me a while to get into a rhythm but once there I held it for about an hour.

At about the 1hr 30min mark I started to struggle and it was then I wondered if I was hitting THE WALL. Not sure what that wall is exactly but I felt dizzy, really heavy legged, and slightly nauseous. It also coincided with this one particular hill that I even struggle to ride up. So I allowed myself to walk for 1min. No more, no less - once that 60secs was up it was time to get going.

Taking off again wasn't as tough as I thought it would be - I actually found it refreshing to have had a rest and then get moving. It was just what my body needed. I learnt something about myself yesterday even after all the lack of motivation I suffered before this run was that I am tougher and much more focused then I give myself credit for. It is so easy to just neglect things, to overlook them and say I will get to it at a later date. When in actuality if you miss that opportunity you may never get it back.

So I am really happy to report that in my longest run to date I completed 20.1km. And I did it not feeling the best too. Goes to show what your body is capable of even when you feel not your best. The human body is a resilient machine.

What can I say.

Wettie off.

Wettie on.

This is what I spent last Thursday doing. I made my way to the Aqua Shop at Gordon with the hope that I would come back with an awesome wetsuit and well, here it is. The gentleman who served me - Duncan - was an absolute gem. Talk about knowing your stuff. I had so many amazing recommendations from the boys at Panther Cycles, from Jodie & Chris at TopNotch, and Larisa the CEO of TriShave Autralia about The Aqua Shop, and Duncan lived up to them all.

If you don't have a wetsuit and you want one and you live in Sydney - then I suggest making your way to the Aqua Shop at Gordon. You won't be disappointed.

Then Friday morning I made my way to the Sydney International Regatta Centre to have an open water swim in my new wetsuit. Well, what can I say about it. Hmmmmm, different. I didn't dislike it nor did I like it alot. Let me explain. I am so used to feeling the water all over my body when I swim that this loss of sensation feels odd to me. Add to it the intense bouyancy that I got when I already sit quite high in the water anyway, made me almost feel like I had to much movement on top of the water. My body really felt each movement I made and intensified it. I also struggled a bit with the restriction around my chest and neck. I got to the 1km mark and wasn't sure if I was breathless cause I swam a little faster than normal or if I was breathless from the wetsuit. After speaking to a few of my comrades they each said that that feeling of breathlessness was quite normal and that I would get used to it. But with all this being said, I know that it won't take much time for me to get used to it. I don't regret it at all. Come May 1st I will have it mastered for sure.

So lessons learnt from Wetsuit Swim 101:

• Make sure when I put it on that I do so correctly or it pulls down on your shoulders and makes it harder to swim.
• Let the wetsuit guide the length of my stroke as fighting against it makes you tired.
• Make sure I wear BodyGlide near the zipper and under arm to stop chafing.
• Get in first and allow some water to enter suit then get out and squish water out of suit so it moulds to body.
• Allow the wetsuit to help with speed so then I can really focus on form.

After my 2km swim which by the way the first 1km was done in 15min and I felt like I wasn't really pushing the pace, I made sure I rinsed it well and dried it inside out and let it dry properly before packing it away. My husband said that he will take charge of the kids Friday morning so I can attend the next 3 Friday mornings before the Open Water swims end for the season. I should be able to get more accustomed to the wetsuit in 3 more swims - surely.

Then on Friday my best friend Susan wanted to buy me a birthday present - so we headed to Rebel Sport and she bought me a pair of these:

How comfortable are these. The compression factor around my upper legs and glutes feels really nice. And not sure if I am imagining it or not but it seemed to help with my ITB pain that has been emanating from my hip since last Sunday. It helped so much that I had the most awesome day of training yesterday.

I started the day off cycling with John. We did the Greendale loop and I managed to ride 52km in 2hrs. Not to shabby considering I really didn't feel strong at all on the bike yesterday. I was really struggling to get a good breath of air and couldn't hold a steady conversation. Thanks John for putting up with me. We also managed to gut it out in the rain.

When I got home it was time to put on my runners and head out the door for my 10 x 1km efforts. Here's my splits per km:

• 4:55
• 5:14
• 5:05
• 5:24
• 5:02
• 5:22
• 5:01
• 5:22
• 5:11
• 5:27

As you can probably notice every second one was alot slower - well I had a headwind to thank for that. Each 1km return hurt bad but I was still happy to maintain above the 5:30min/km for each which put me to a total of 51:20 for the 10km. I felt so good after this session, but I still could not rest as I had a swim set to do still.

Here it is - it was tough but good.

• 400m Warm up - 75m Fr/s, 25m backstroke
• 200m one armed Fr/s swapping every 25m
• 100m Fr/s scull
• Main set - PYRAMID
• 100m, 200m (3min), 300m, 400m TT (5:51), 400m TT (6:03), 300m, 200m, 100m (1:17)
• 4 x 25m sprints - this is where the cramping started.
• 200m cooldown.

Was I glad when yesterday finished. I was totally pooped. Had nothing left and all I wanted to do was eat and sleep, which is what I did as I knew I had to back it up with today.

Today was meant to be another century ride but with a 30min run off the bike. When I set out this morning to meet Sarah I knew we were in for a bit of a wet ride. I didn't have any wet weather gear so I was just crossing my fingers hoping it wasn't going to be too wet. Well, not only did i face sheer darkness when I headed out but it started to drizzle and then turn heavy about 10mins into my ride. I was half contemplating turning around and going home but I knew Sarah was already out on the road too so thought it best to stick it out. By the time I got to he truckstop it had stopped raining and held out for about the next 35mins for the first half bit of our ride together.

When we made our way close to my home it started to rain again and got progressively heavier as we decided to head back. By the time we got back to the truckstop we were drenched - like drowned rats, but we still smiled. Gotta laugh at the situations we get ourselves into. We decided to see if by heading to the Regatta Centre by car to finish our ride off would be less wet but it wasn't meant to be - even more wet. So Sarah drove me back home, we had a nice hot cup of coffee to warm our insides and she headed back home. I headed to the shower to warm up and then got on my indoor trainer to finish off what I had set out to do this morning. 90mins and 42km later on the indoor trainer - I donned my runners and was out the door for a 30min easy run. And wouldn't you guess, when I wanted it to rain to cool me down, it didn't. GO FIGURE.

In total I did 72km cycling but was meant to do 100km. Nevermind. The indoor trainer I find is more intense as you keep a really strong and steady cadence the whole time. So am I happy with this weekends activities? YOU BET YA. Port Mac 70.3 is looking set to be a really good day. I can now say that I feel confident in my abilities to complete it.

A royal pain in the derriere.

No, not a painting of my toosh, but a nice toosh nonetheless. Mine on the other hand as well as my hip are anything but. Seems I pushed harder than I thought on Sunday and now my glute and left ITB are screaming "Blue Murder" at me. Wish they would be quiet. I've kind of been there done that with them before and I am over it already.

I'm not quite sure what I am expecting though - after an AMAZING weekend I had also had my longest run to date on Tuesday. I managed to run a staggering 17.9km. And yes I am using the word staggering quite seriously, as this is HUGE for me. The whole run was perfect from beginning to end. I took off while it was still dark at 6:15am and under the direct instructions of my hubby I set out with my headlamp on. I thought it was going to be uncomfortable - but it surprisingly wasn't.

I wondered how visible I truly was, and it wasn't until later that I received a text message from a Alison who drove past me and said that I was light up well that I realised I made the right decision listening to my Stephen. Even he was happy that I listened for once.

As the run continued I found myself smiling - not a big goofy smile

But rather a smile of knowingness, that I had this run. I was going to own every ounce of it. And I did. I love this distance running business. I have so much time to think and hash things over in my mind, listen to cool music, smile at on coming traffic and chat to the workers near the truck stop as I run past. They totally crack me up. The last time one of them took to running with me in his work boots - dirt and all. He didn't last long but it did bring a smile to my face. Then yesterday the same young chap popped his head up from a trench like a Meerkat and smiled at me again - only when I questioned why he wasn't running this time - he said "no, not today, too busy".

As I finished the run I was slightly scared as to how my ITB would pull up. And well yesterday it felt ok, but this morning it is quite tender. Feels bruised, tight and painful to walk. So I went for a swim, physio and have since iced it more times than I would like to count. I missed out on track tonight not just because it stormed and the track was wet but also because I thought it wise to rest it as much as possible as I have a huge weekend in store in the training department which I don't intend on missing.

"Worry never accomplishes anything. When you have a problem, it is best to concentrate on the solution to that problem, not the problem itself."

~Thomas D. Willhite~

The end of an era.

It is time to bid a close companion farewell. Initially when I felt the first twinge of separation I was quite shocked, saddened, pained by what was happening as this had never happened before. You spend so much time together almost taking eachother for granted, that when the time comes to finally part ways - its almost as though you wished you had of paid more attention to them or atleast showered them with some lavish show of affection.

So as the colour drains from the once vivid friendship and is replaced with a dark reminder of what once was, and the pain dissipates to nothing more than a mere dull ache - I face the hard task of having to say my farewells much sooner than I had anticipated.

The future has yet to be determined, not sure when we will meet again. But I long for the reunion with bated breath. I hereby promise to pay closer attention to the rekindled friendship, shout them to a spa or massage and hope that they forgive my lack of attention.

To my dear toenail, I promise to take care of thee when ye returns.