Friday, September 23, 2011

Just my thoughts

When a defining moment comes along, you can do one of two things.
Define the moment, or let the moment define you.
~ The Tin Cup ~

Rummaging through quotes as I do on a daily basis to find one that best encompasses the mood I would like to reflect on the day, I stumbled across this one and it struck quite a chord with me yesterday. Not just because of everything that has gone on in the last week, but because of the many defining moments I have had in my life. Some were magic, ones that have left an indelible mark on my soul for all the right reasons, whilst others did the same in a painful, tragic sense.

At the time I can remember saying "Why me", "What had I done wrong". I mean, there are much more sinister people in the world but somehow life's events panned out that I should be stuck with a back condition that has been my affliction for 15yrs. I remember letting that moment define me when it was at it's very worst. I was not a happy camper - a total contrast to the person I am today. I never smiled, I was sad to the very core of my existence. When people asked how I was, it always revolved around my condition and how it was affecting my life. I was sick of living my life.

I got to the point where I became such a recluse because I didn't want to hear myself repeat that same damn sentence, those same damn words. It felt better for me to be on my own as it hurt so much to watch others do the things I wanted to do so badly myself. I wanted to and was doing a great job at letting the moment define me.

Finally it all came to a head and I realised or accepted for want of a better term my back condition. I spent years trying to fight it and emotionally I think it was destroying me more than physically. I knew that if I was going to move forward and get better (or atleast manage it) I had to grab the bull by the horns and dance the cha cha with it. I was never going to beat it but I was going to have to learn to live with it and be the best I could be with it. And so, after a few years of finding the right balance - I think I have finally got it nailed. And it's not to say I haven't had hiccups along the way and gotten sad and upset and frustrated - but I think I have pulled through each of the hiccups having learnt something new about myself each and every time.

Defining moments are placed in your way - to help you grow I believe. Even in the saddest of situations I do believe there is something we can all take from it. And it may not be right at that very moment, but when given the chance to reflect - I am sure there is something good that will have arisen from the dust. Whether that be the realisation that you are stronger than you have ever given yourself credit for, or that when you feel at your most alone there are the hands of many helping you to your feet, so that you too can one day be the hand that helps another. There is always something good.

Maybe it's me being an eternal optimist. But I now look at everything that happens in my life with renewed vigour. And if I can't do something for a while for whatever the reason - I find something I can do to replace it till I can get back out there. And if things aren't going quite right at that very moment, then there will be a time when they will. Till then I have to make the most of it. Things always have a way of coming good. It's what we do in the process that makes the waiting worth it.

Are you defining your moments?

Your hard work will be rewarded.

"The path to a dream is paved with sacrifices and lined with determination. And though it has many stumbling blocks along the way, and may go in more than one direction, it is travelled by belief and courage and conquered with a willingness to face challenges and take chances" Barbara Cage