This is something I have to keep telling myself. I often fail to be my own biggest supporter, when things get tough on the track I try to find excuses as to why I should slow down or even QUIT. It's not until I have the support of someone who pushes me to go that bit harder that I then realise I have it within me to do it.
That's exactly what happened yesterday. It was the first track session back for the New Year and we were asked to do 4 x 1km sets with 15 secs break between sets. The aim was to stay consistent in our approach and I was asked to try and hold a 5min/km pace.
Well, the first 1km I did on 4:42 and boy did I feel that. I was pooped - totally knackered and was wondering where those 15 secs of rest had gone as I took off again. Then it hit me like a sack of potatoes across the head - DEFEAT. As my body started to hurt I became mentally weak and that 2nd 1km effort was shameful. I told Chris I was feeling spewy - I wasn't lying, I really did feel spewy thanks to the noodles I ate 90 mins before, but if I was mentally tough I would have totally overlooked it and pushed through that feeling. So consequently that 1km effort I did it in 5:23.
Thank God I have a coach who I think is starting to realise my personality and knows that when I start to feel uncomfortable he needs to push me yet support me through that as well. So Chris joined me on my next 2 efforts. Within those 1km efforts he just kept giving me positive reinforcements " You can do this, I know you can, physically you are capable, can you do this mentally". Those were the words I really needed to hear. To know that my coach saw something in me that I often fail to see in myself. I am glad he asked me the question too if I was mentally prepared - it made me try, it made me get "shirty" with myself and made me question why it is I give up on myself during my run sessions. The next 2 efforts were much MUCH better - 5:07 & 5:10. And even though I felt very tired at the end of it I did feel proud of my efforts. Thanks Chris - you helped me get through the mental slump.
On the way home I heard this song and just had to share it. You have probably all heard it before but I just thought it was really appropriate and needed to realise that I have it within me.
Then this morning whilst on DailyMile I across this article that one of my friends had posted on the Queen - Chrissie Wellington. I cannot get over how truly inspirational and remarkable she is. I love how she states that "anything is possible and that your limits may not be where you think they are". Reading her article made me think that I definately have more to give. I know I am never going to be a Chrissie Wellington but I can and will be the best damn Barbie I can be. I just gotta believe.
