What's next?

The exhilaration and astonishment from the past fortnight's events had only just begun to subside and I was already looking for something else to quench my desire to compete. Not because I wanted to try and win anything else, but rather I just wanted to feel those emotions attached to accomplishing something you thought you could never do.

Friends of mine at bootcamp were going to compete in a 5km Fun Run at the Regatta Centre. I wanted so badly to do it but I had not run that sort of distance since I had competed in the 14km City to Surf as a teenager. But what the heck. I never thought I could lose 20kgs and I did, this was just another thing I thought I couldnt do and I was going to prove myself wrong.

My twin son Kurtis also wanted to do the run with me. I think he had felt a sense of pride watching me overcome obstacles and wanted to do the same. I was so proud of him. We started together but within a kilometre I had to tell him to run like the wind. He was chomping at the bit to get going but Im sure he felt an obligation to stay with me. I was happy for him to enjoy his run and see how he would go.

I was struggling. Every fibre of my being wanted to stop and just turn around and go back after 1.5km. My lungs were burning and every stride I took felt like I had those 16kgs (weight to date lost) back on my shoulders. One of my friends Kim stayed with me for a while and kept giving me motivation to continue. I honestly thought I was able to motivate myself but it was quite clear that when things got a bit unfamiliar and tough my brain would try to revert back to its original way of thinking. Was I going to let it, NO WAY.

I decided to walk for a bit. This was the best decision I had ever made. Not only did it give my legs and lungs a much needed reprieve, but I was also able to focus on the fact that I now only had about 2.5kms left. I could do this. So up went the tempo from a walk to a slow run and I just stayed focused on my breathing. In, Out, In, Out. And with every step, I was a little closer to the finishing line. So much so I caught up with Kurtis who was trying to recover from a stitch.

After a couple of minutes walking we picked up our pace and caught up with Kim who had slowed down her pace to wait for me. The remainder of the run went by quite painfully I must admit. Even though my pace had not slowed any further, my calves felt as though every pint of blood in my body had settled into them and they felt heavy. Very heavy!

Kurtis once again took off and finished the race with a good sprint to the finish, and Kim and I gave it all we had right towards the end. I was so happy I finished it. I don't know my exact time but I think it was 31 minutes something. It doesnt matter really, I finished and that was all there was to it. I could tick off another accomplishment. I was on a roll.

Headlines.

My husband is a cheeky man. He is also very proud of me and always wants nothing but the best for the children and I. As he was driving home from the Sydney Aquatic Centre he rang the local newspaper and spoke to the head editor and told them about what I had achieved. I guess they must have thought it was a bit of interesting news because 2 days later I had a phone interview and made the back page with other competitors from the area.

How cool did I feel? About as cool as a cucumber. I didnt want this year to end. This feeling far outweighed all the hard training sessions and the times I doubted myself.

Everytime my husband Stephen holds my silver medal, all he says is "This is the closest I am going to get to a silver medal". But he has already won a gold medal, its the love I hold for him in my heart.

I am having trouble downloading the article so I have cut and paste it instead, here it is:

60 PENRITH WEEKENDER, October 23, 2009

4722 6693
WWW.WESTERNWEEKENSport T H E W E S T E R N
PENRITH VALLEY
WEEK-ENDER
FROM Prince Frederik of Denmark
capsizing in the harbour to 100-
year-old grandmother Ruby Frith
breaking the record in shot put, the 2009
World Masters Games were arguably the
most exciting yet, with over 28,000 people
competing across Sydney last week.
With baseball, canoeing, kayaking and
touch football all held in the Penrith area,
local residents got their fair share of the
action.
Local touch football team, the Penrith
Over 50s, scored silver in the Games, and
player Charlie Chrisostomos said the whole
team was pleased with the fi nal result.
“We made the fi nals so that was a good
effort for us,” he said.
“This was our fi rst time competing in
the Games and because it was being played
locally, that made it very easy for us so we
were pretty happy with how we went.”
Locals who competed outside of the area
include Luddenham competitor, Barbara
Hughes, who scored a silver medal in the
50-metre backstroke for swimming.
“It was the most exhilarating experience
to be involved in the event, you just feel on
top of the world and to get a silver medal
Story Stacey Hicks
was just the icing on the cake for me,” the
35-year-old said.
Other successes included a local hockey
team achieving gold and a Penrith netball
team achieving bronze.
“We had absolutely no idea that we
would do any good and thought we would
get smashed in all the games,” said netballer
Carolyn Morley. “But with determination
and team building, we surprised ourselves.”
The Games were marred, however, by
the unexpected death of an international
canoeist, aged in his 40s, who suffered from
a heart attack on the Nepean River during
the 21km canoe marathon last Wednesday.
World Masters Games Chief Medical
Offi cer, Jenny Saunders, said the organising
staff were saddened by the man’s death, but
all necessary precautions and actions were
taken to try to revive the man.

I did it.

My day began at about 0500hrs as my nerves were just eating me alive. I had hardly slept a wink as thoughts of false starts, coming last and making a total fool of myself flooded my every thought. Eating breakfast was the farthest thing from my mind yet I knew I had to stomach atleast two WeetBix in order to stop the waves of nausea becoming all too consuming.

I had my bags packed the night before but that didn't stop me from checking it for the one millionth time. Goggles, check. Cap, check. Swimmers, check. Courage - oh bugger, where is it? I know I had packed it too. Maybe I had put it somewhere for safe keeping and when the time was right I would find it.

I travelled to the pool on my own that morning, feeling that I needed to be at one with my thoughts. I couldn't bear the thought of trying to figure out what I needed to do with my children when I had enough trouble trying to keep my own thoughts straight. Luckily, I have the most understanding husband and he knew how important this was for me.

Arrival at the pool was about 4 hrs before my race, but I didn't care. I was able to relax and feel totally inspired but all those competitors who were still swimming and competing at the tender age of 100+. What was I afraid of? These competitors motivation and drive to continue being the best they could be made my search for "courage" come to an end. I had found it. What was I going to lose? Nothing, when I had already gained so much. I got my life back, competing here was just the icing on the cake.

Barry turned up not long after me and we spent some good quality time just chit chatting about things. About how far I had come, all the things I had accomplished and how proud he was of me. That meant so much. He too had gone on this journey with me and I guess he was feeling the nerves too. This swim was going to be a testament of not only my strength and determination but also his patience and willingness to get me to my goal as well.

As I looked around and found myself surrounded by my family and friends an hour later, I realised how lucky I was to be blessed with all of them. They stuck by me when at times all I wanted to do was run away screaming. I am sure I wasn't the easiest person to live with.

The time came for the marshalling of my race. Barry handed me a letter and told me to read it when I got down there. I gave my kids, husband and mum a big ole kiss and made my way down. With every step I made closer to the marshalling area the louder and faster my heartbeat resonated in my ears. I could hardly hear the swooshing of the pool and conversations being held around me. It was just incoherent mumbles.

I got my name marked off and set out to read my letter. Barry is not a man of many words but this letter brought a flood of tears to my eyes. It made me realise that he had more faith in me than I did. He knew I could do this, and after reading it I knew I could too.

The actual race itself went by quite quickly. One minute I was in the water getting ready to take my starting position and before I knew it I was at the other end looking up at the time board. At first it didn't register, when I looked to my left I saw only one other person at the end with me, and then it all hit. My race was the fastest heat. I came in at 34.15 seconds. If the screen said I had come second in my heat that meant I had come second overall. OMG, I came second. I couldnt believe it. I was second for my age group in the entire Masters in the world. I felt like I had won the Olympics. Well, this was the closest I would ever come, I was on top of the world.

Finally my hearing came back and I could hear my children, husband, mum, Barry, friends screaming out how proud they were of me. I was so happy, ecstatic, overwhelmed. I was not able to wipe the smile from my face for hours. So I went home, had a nice dinner and a glass of red and relished in the joy of having accomplished a Silver Medal for my first race. But, the job was not done. I still had the 50m Freestyle. I knew it would be harder as this is the race that everyone wants to compete in.

My aim was to hit sub 30 seconds. Was this possible, "NO", but I got close. 30.83 was my time. Was I still proud of my achievement "YES". What I had overcome in the last 9 weeks of training had proven to me that anything was possible. Now whenever I thought to myself "I can't do this", my retort back would be "Of course you can".

Jitters.

What a day. I was so excited. Susan and I were going to Homebush to register for the World Masters Games and recieve all our paperwork. The excitement I felt I could only compare to what an Olympian would feel just before their race. I knew the Masters games were popular but I didn't realise how popular.

Susan and i got to the venue just before 0900hrs. We went into the main arena and lined up with about 40 other people to start our registration paperwork. All went without a glitch and we recieved our backpack, lanyard with competitors pass, drink bottle and timetable for the events. After leaving the main arena we thought we would go buy ourselves some memorabillia however all attendants said that stalls would not be open until 1500hrs when registrations began. This was lucky incident number one. We actually signed up 6 hours early. Yee Ha.

So we returned to the main arena at about 1400hrs after lunch to sit and wait for the stalls to open. Within half an hour or so, officials for the games starting locking these main doors and placing signs up stating the opening time. Funny thing was we were on the inside and Susan and I with about 100 other competitors were ushered in to the main arena as though we were something special. Lucky incident number 2.

Could this be the beginning of many great things to come. Boy, was I in for the shock of a lifetime.

It's coming up

So today was set to be the day. I knew it was going to be a hard session in the water. I had, I think about 2 weeks to go to the Masters Championships and I must admit I was feeling pretty damn good in all aspects of my life. My back was hardly hurting at all now and i was feeling strong. People were now commenting about how fit I look, versus how much weight I had put on, and gees "You look puffy".

So anyway, back to the reason of this post. I knew it was going to be hard. Barry would give me my session a week in advance. I was scared. I was doing 4x175m Freestyle and 4x175m Backstroke all at about 85%.

I started off with the Backstroke seeing as it was my favourite stroke and knocked those out reasonably well I thought. I was finishing each 175m Backstroke with enough breath to continue talking to Barry and my best friend Susan. Anyone who knows me knows I like to have a good gas bag...

The Freestyles were set to be another story. The first one came and went without too much hassle, the second had me feeling light headed. Now the third one was a doozie. I remember touching the wall and looking up at Barry and Susan and wondering "why are there two of each?". My body had gotten the shakes so bad all I could do was walk about 2m to a bench at the end of the pool and there i sat for a little bit. That was until someone turned on the saliva tap in my mouth.

I felt so unwell but wishing at that point I had not eaten baked beans and toast for breakfast. The thought of that making its way up was just TOO MUCH. The bathrooms were too far away and I knew that I didnt have the energy to get there anyway so the closest thing were some bushes. Luckily all I did was heave. My stomach started to settle after some water and a couple of Glucodin tablets, courtesy of Susan. I can recall just sitting at the table back at the other end of the pool and Barry giving me 15 minutes of respite and then being told I had one more to go. God love him!!

I requested another 5 minutes of rest and then churned out the last 175m and thanked God it was over. I had done it. I had almost spewed and survived. Nothing was holding me back.