The exhilaration and astonishment from the past fortnight's events had only just begun to subside and I was already looking for something else to quench my desire to compete. Not because I wanted to try and win anything else, but rather I just wanted to feel those emotions attached to accomplishing something you thought you could never do.
Friends of mine at bootcamp were going to compete in a 5km Fun Run at the Regatta Centre. I wanted so badly to do it but I had not run that sort of distance since I had competed in the 14km City to Surf as a teenager. But what the heck. I never thought I could lose 20kgs and I did, this was just another thing I thought I couldnt do and I was going to prove myself wrong.
My twin son Kurtis also wanted to do the run with me. I think he had felt a sense of pride watching me overcome obstacles and wanted to do the same. I was so proud of him. We started together but within a kilometre I had to tell him to run like the wind. He was chomping at the bit to get going but Im sure he felt an obligation to stay with me. I was happy for him to enjoy his run and see how he would go.
I was struggling. Every fibre of my being wanted to stop and just turn around and go back after 1.5km. My lungs were burning and every stride I took felt like I had those 16kgs (weight to date lost) back on my shoulders. One of my friends Kim stayed with me for a while and kept giving me motivation to continue. I honestly thought I was able to motivate myself but it was quite clear that when things got a bit unfamiliar and tough my brain would try to revert back to its original way of thinking. Was I going to let it, NO WAY.
I decided to walk for a bit. This was the best decision I had ever made. Not only did it give my legs and lungs a much needed reprieve, but I was also able to focus on the fact that I now only had about 2.5kms left. I could do this. So up went the tempo from a walk to a slow run and I just stayed focused on my breathing. In, Out, In, Out. And with every step, I was a little closer to the finishing line. So much so I caught up with Kurtis who was trying to recover from a stitch.
After a couple of minutes walking we picked up our pace and caught up with Kim who had slowed down her pace to wait for me. The remainder of the run went by quite painfully I must admit. Even though my pace had not slowed any further, my calves felt as though every pint of blood in my body had settled into them and they felt heavy. Very heavy!
Kurtis once again took off and finished the race with a good sprint to the finish, and Kim and I gave it all we had right towards the end. I was so happy I finished it. I don't know my exact time but I think it was 31 minutes something. It doesnt matter really, I finished and that was all there was to it. I could tick off another accomplishment. I was on a roll.
My best friend Susan sent me this email and I wanted to attach it to my blog. She was having trouble doing so. So here it is.
ReplyDeleteDear Ming Girl,
I have read all your blog what a journey you have been on. like most of us we go through highs and lows like you have expressed and it makes you realise that if you have a strong belief in yourself than you are able to achieve anything you want in life. You my friend are extremely strong when you truly believe in what you want to achieve. I enjoy listening and watching you living your life to the fullest. It is a wonderful feeling when you set a goal and you achieve great results like you have experienced. I am so very proud of you. Keep doing what your doing
your setting a fine example for your children. Well Done.
Susan