Working my way back.

It's hard to know where to start. So much has transpired in the last 6 weeks that I kind of feel like it has all gone by in a blur. Probably good in a way - the mind has an innate way of shutting down to let you heal and look after yourself. It slows all processes down and gives you time to assess, prioritise, time to search and find yourself, time to feel and be again.

It is quite safe to say that even though during this time I was cared for immensely by family and friends for which I cannot even begin to find words that describe the magnitude of gratitude, I really felt quite alone. I wanted nothing more than to find me again and switch on the old me and get rid of that sadness and how low I was feeling but in the darkness I couldn't find the switch.

Eventually I felt hands grabbing hold of mine and leading me to that switch. And although the darkness was at first overpowering the light, the light has since started to shine again. Everyday that light gets stronger and stronger and everyday I am able to see a little more of me again.

There is still a lot to work on and I am ready to battle it out. I am clawing my way back - I deserve to smile again and with feeling. Not just a vacant smile but a smile that resonates from the bottom of my soul. A smile that truly displays and connects the mind, body and soul. I deserve to be me for me and my family.

And so it is here I find myself, back in my beloved Blog land. Looking after me and doing that which truly makes happy - writing, expressing, feeling, sharing. And I will get back to the sport I love - Triathlons, but in the meantime I have signed up for an 1km Ocean Swim this Sunday at Coogee.

So get ready to see me back. Hope you haven't missed me too much.

• Beyond Blue - click HERE
• Black Dog Institute - click HERE