Pick your time

When to use pencil or pen. Sound weird? Here's my take. At the end of my last/first Tri season I went through the upcoming season - dates of proposed races and placed them into my diary in pen. If my last/first season was anything to go by, I was going to have a complete cracker. It's not that I was cockey, but when things go so good it's hard to see into the future and that things could go wrong or change for want of a better word.

That first season was everything I could have hoped for and more. Not just in terms of the races but training as well. Everything went smoothly apart from the occasional hiccups. So consequently I thought this following season would be an exact duplicate and I then went and placed all my races in pen throughout my diary.

What I am learning is that although this can make you very excited as you skim through your diary, it can also leave you feeling very flat when things aren't going as planned. Why? Well as things can/do change throughout the course of one's life - this neat little penmanship can turn into a big fat scribble as you have to start changing or deleting them completely from your diary. It leaves me feeling sad as I am missing out on things that I have so badly wanted to do. And have not been able to get to for one reason or another.

So my thoughts on this are that from now on I shall use pencil to update my diary knowing full well that things can and do change. If they are accomplished - I will do them over in indelible ink so they are forever etched in Barb's hall of fame. But those that are not attained shall stay in my diary marked in pencil. No scratching or erasing required - it is left in there for my next season to attempt and acquire and hopefully to one day be re-written in ink.

Shout out!!

Five members of Panthers Tri Club have made their way over to Kailua Kona, Hawaii to participate in Ironman. For those of you who know how tough it is to get in and how hard it is to qualify - our club is stoked that 5 of them have made it through. They have been tirelessly training through the cold of Winter to get ready for this event and have even been spotted going for runs along the river dressed up in their trackies on our warm days trying to acclimatise or belting out hundreds upon hundreds of kilometres on their bikes. I am sure the same could be said about swimming.

We would love for you all to keep our boys in your prayers and wish them all the best as they tackle an ENORMOUS feat in the original homeland of Ironman.

Leigh Chapman #1606
Ben Scull #1408
Adam Dimech #1767
Tim Edwards #1342
Shane Thompson #1555

I cannot even begin to imagine nor fathom their emotions at the moment. But I could only liken it to a soda bottle which has been shaken furiously yet it's lid is still wedged tightly closed. Come 8th of October when that bottle top gets opened at the sound of the canon - our boys are going to take off (like an explosion) waving the PTC and Australian Flag proud.

Your families, friends, club and country is proud of each and every single one of you. And we know you will be giving it your all - that is all anyone can ask for.

GOODLUCK BOYS.

Just take a chance.

What have you got to lose?

I used to be scared of taking chances. Always been cautious in my approach to things and really meticulous. It's not that I hated failing, it's just that I never wanted to lose that which I had worked so hard for.

I was never a person to have faith in my abilities and doubted my every step, even when I was really good at something. Ask my family, they will tell you. Everything I did took a great deal of coaxing from my family and closest friends. I am sure I was, and still can be totally annoying.

My inability to see the good in me I guess has always been my major flaw. However, this is something I have been working on.

It's been a real work in progress. Starting from my 35th Birthday. If I hadn't of taken a chance that day - I may very well be in a very different place to where I am now. I am more than 100% sure that I would have still been in pain, and living a life which was not authentic. I would have been hiding from the world instead of living everyday as though it were my last. And I do believe that the real "ME" would have died. She was very close to being emotionally and spiritually lost FOREVER.

But since learning to take chances - and not just in everyday situations but taking a chance on myself, things have looked so much brighter. I have encountered opportunities far greater than I ever thought imaginable. My life has gone from "grey & lifeless" to being a "rainbow". I mean at times I have to really pinch myself to make sure that everything that is happening is for real. Things like this have never happened to me, I have never been that special - atleast not to me.

But why couldn't things like this happen to me - or you for that matter!!! They happen to people like the Gates', Branson's, Packer's, Murdoch's, Winfrey's, so really - why couldn't magical things happen to the likes of you and me. They are no more special than you or I. Sometimes you just have to take a chance. I believe the Universe has a way of setting things straight.

An amazing thing that has happened to me of late is that I am now going to be working with Larissa - the owner/director of TriShave Australia. I will be helping on the day of the TriShave events starting with the TriShave Womens Triathlon the 30th of October. I will be helping with the promotional aspect on the day and help hand out samples and tell people all about this wonderful product and how it can help them. I love the products. Out of every sunblock/moisturiser on the market, it is the only one that doesn't react with my skin and it is light and refreshing too. It literally was in my pocket/bag on every ride/run I did for Yeppoon and Port.

I am sure you are all aware of the fact that my very first event EVER in this world of Triathlons was the TriShave Womens Triathlon. And I am sure you are all aware of how much I love the products - have been using their 3in1 UV Body Defense SPF 30+ Post Shave Moisturising Lotion since then. I even won a competition and was able to purchase my much loved GoPro

helmet camera with my winnings. Fantastic things can happen. I am a true believer. I cannot wait to be a part of it all. What an exciting adventure I will be on. My life is just AMAZING. Can you feel the excitement?

I guess what I want to say with this post is that great things can happen to you. By believing in yourself. By giving yourself every opportunity to succeed in this world. And sure taking chances can be scary - sometimes more so than other times.

But what have you go to lose?

Are you not worth it?

GO ON, TAKE A CHANCE.

The Cycling Cerebellums go for a swim

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.

~ African Proverb ~

I absolutely love this quote and find it to be so true. If all we were faced with were the same old situations day in, day out - then how are we meant to adapt, adjust, progress, learn, overcome, rise above.

Life is all about growing - not just in the physical sense, but also emotionally, spiritually. I am a firm believer in this now. Instead of focusing on the many negative things which we are faced with on almost a daily basis, I now choose to focus on only positive things and what I can learn and get out of the negative.

Like for instance this foot thing - I could get all chocked up and SAD about not being able to run, but strangely enough - for once in my life I am NOT sad. I actually am looking upon this as quite favourable. This atleast gives me time to now focus on my cycling. Getting ready for this HUGE bike ride to Melbourne. That's where my efforts are being focused. I need health and wellness to make it to St Kilda in 7 days.

Will I miss competing in club events - without a shadow of a doubt but this is only short lived. And I will get great pleasure out of being a supportive member of our great cheer squad. This way I also get to share in each individual accomplishment in every sense. I love watching my friends race and accomplish great things for themselves. Nothing makes me smile more. Actually me racing makes me smile more - but cheering is a close second.

But in the meantime I shall swim and cycle like a crazy woman. And take loads of swimming and cycling footage. My GoPro camera rules.

This could take longer

Than I am thinking to heal. No pain upon resting does not equate to being totally healed as I found out yesterday. Not that I did anything silly like running or cycling or swimming for that matter - I have been extremely diligent in that regards. However, I went for a brief shopping interlude with the family and it seems the foot hates being walked on or stood on for any length of time. And because it hates being walked on I then walk funny - like I am putting pressure more on my heel and then my heel starts to hurt. At this rate I should be walking like the "Hunchback of Notre Dame" in no time at all.

The pain I get is located where the Peroneus Brevis tendon attaches to the base of the 5th Metatarsal. And if I am not careful my little veiny foot will go back to looking like it has elephantitis again. Check out the before and after pic.

Quite a noticeable difference from one foot to the next I say. And even though the pain has settled remarkably, the foot still hates being walked on for any great length of time - even though I stilled have it supported with a thermal ankle brace. So, here's my thought's. I am out for the majority of this year I think in terms of races. And whilst I am out nursing this foot to health I may as well use the time wisely and get my other complaint looked into as well and have it sorted so I can get to my bigger goal for this year. And that is - my bike ride from Sydney to Melbourne in April of next year.

So this other ailment is the issue of an Epigastric Hernia I have. It's not big by any stretch of the imagination but enough that I can feel it everytime I touch my stomach. And the surgeon said that it won't disppear, if anything it will get bigger and I don't want it interfering with my cycling training. So it's time to get this baby fixed.

I asked the surgeon if he thought this hernia was related to the pain I kept getting everytime I ran up under my rib - and although he couldn't quite say that it was 100% related he didn't dismiss it either - considering everything else had been excluded. And seeing as my hernia still only has fat protruding through into it, he thinks that it could cause a pulling effect from the area thereby causing that stitch pain I get everytime I run.

He also said that because it is fairly small at this moment that they would normally fix it with a few stitches to close the hole, however because I am so active he is quite possibly going to use gauze to cover up the hole to make sure it never returns. But the even better news is that I will be able to return to cycling within 3 weeks of surgery - and so start my training. That's very good news indeed.

So when am I getting it done? Quite possibly within the next month. The quicker I get it done, the quicker I am back out there. And quite frankly I am going totally nuts waiting and not being able to do anything. Atleast by this Friday I should be able to go for a bike ride and see how the foot holds up. And if it holds up for cycling then I am very very happy. Atleast there is 2 legs out of the Tri I can do. And if I can never run again because of my foot - well then I really wont know what to do. And it's not something I want to think about right now - so I won't.

So in the meantime I shall let all of my other little projects consume my every thought and be happy with what I have happening in my life. And know that atleast I am mending and looking after me.

Just my thoughts

When a defining moment comes along, you can do one of two things.

Define the moment, or let the moment define you.

~ The Tin Cup ~

Rummaging through quotes as I do on a daily basis to find one that best encompasses the mood I would like to reflect on the day, I stumbled across this one and it struck quite a chord with me yesterday. Not just because of everything that has gone on in the last week, but because of the many defining moments I have had in my life. Some were magic, ones that have left an indelible mark on my soul for all the right reasons, whilst others did the same in a painful, tragic sense.

At the time I can remember saying "Why me", "What had I done wrong". I mean, there are much more sinister people in the world but somehow life's events panned out that I should be stuck with a back condition that has been my affliction for 15yrs. I remember letting that moment define me when it was at it's very worst. I was not a happy camper - a total contrast to the person I am today. I never smiled, I was sad to the very core of my existence. When people asked how I was, it always revolved around my condition and how it was affecting my life. I was sick of living my life.

I got to the point where I became such a recluse because I didn't want to hear myself repeat that same damn sentence, those same damn words. It felt better for me to be on my own as it hurt so much to watch others do the things I wanted to do so badly myself. I wanted to and was doing a great job at letting the moment define me.

Finally it all came to a head and I realised or accepted for want of a better term my back condition. I spent years trying to fight it and emotionally I think it was destroying me more than physically. I knew that if I was going to move forward and get better (or atleast manage it) I had to grab the bull by the horns and dance the cha cha with it. I was never going to beat it but I was going to have to learn to live with it and be the best I could be with it. And so, after a few years of finding the right balance - I think I have finally got it nailed. And it's not to say I haven't had hiccups along the way and gotten sad and upset and frustrated - but I think I have pulled through each of the hiccups having learnt something new about myself each and every time.

Defining moments are placed in your way - to help you grow I believe. Even in the saddest of situations I do believe there is something we can all take from it. And it may not be right at that very moment, but when given the chance to reflect - I am sure there is something good that will have arisen from the dust. Whether that be the realisation that you are stronger than you have ever given yourself credit for, or that when you feel at your most alone there are the hands of many helping you to your feet, so that you too can one day be the hand that helps another. There is always something good.

Maybe it's me being an eternal optimist. But I now look at everything that happens in my life with renewed vigour. And if I can't do something for a while for whatever the reason - I find something I can do to replace it till I can get back out there. And if things aren't going quite right at that very moment, then there will be a time when they will. Till then I have to make the most of it. Things always have a way of coming good. It's what we do in the process that makes the waiting worth it.

Are you defining your moments?

Tough

Whoa, it's been a tough few days. Wish it all was a bad bad dream and that I will wake up and it will all be back to the way it was - but I know that is all wishful thinking - and the reality is, it won't and our family has to cope the best way it know's how.

I think I posted some months ago about our little Foxy "Milo" when he got bitten by the brown snake in our yard and the ordeal we went through to get him back to health and wellness. We would have turned the world upside for him to have him back with us - and as it turned out we were very lucky that he survived that bite.

Sadly though, this Monday just gone - my poor Milo got bitten again by another Brown Snake. Only this time he was unable to fight the venom and he passed away. I tried so hard to get him to the vet on time - yelling and screaming at every slow car that was in my path, but to no avail. The venom was so strong and powerful that he was seizuring the whole way to the vets and panting so heavy, and by the time I got him there the venom had a hard grip on his little body and the antivenom they gave him was not able to help. Within minutes he succumbed to the venom and passed away due to a cardiac arrest.

It's hard to go outside into the yard and not see him running around or sunning himself under his favourite She Oak Tree. And even though his incessant barking at birds in the tree would at times get on our nerves, it's his bark I want to hear most. He knew if you were sad and would come and sit beside you and just stare into your eyes waiting for you to give him that scratch on his back and tummy that he dearly loved. But now he lies in his own very private spot in the paddock with our beloved horse (Nibbles) who passed away some years ago from Colic and our 9yr old chook (Henny).

Not sure if there will ever be another dog like Milo. He always had our safety and that of our home foremost in his mind. Such a brave little soul he was. We love you Milo. What I wouldn't give to have you back home again.

I have also been struggling since last Tuesday to walk properly on my left foot. Not sure what I have done to it, but the thing swelled up like a balloon some days ago and after and Xray showing nothing, I am now off today to have a bone scan. Check out the Humpbacks foot:

The swelling has gone down quite a bit today but there is still pain on the outer aspect of my foot. Hopefully the bone scan shows nothing and it is just a passing thing but until the results come back I am on crutches. No weight baring allowed. Thats hard going and I am missing my training like crazy. Not sure if I am going to be doing any club races, Womens' Sprint Tri or Nepean for that fact. I am really trying my hardest to stay positive but I feel a little upset and really hope it's nothing. Fingers crossed.

I just wanted to say thankyou to everyone for all of your care and concern with everything that has gone on in my life at the moment. You all make me feel so loved and cared for. THANKYOU.