Jitters.

What a day. I was so excited. Susan and I were going to Homebush to register for the World Masters Games and recieve all our paperwork. The excitement I felt I could only compare to what an Olympian would feel just before their race. I knew the Masters games were popular but I didn't realise how popular.

Susan and i got to the venue just before 0900hrs. We went into the main arena and lined up with about 40 other people to start our registration paperwork. All went without a glitch and we recieved our backpack, lanyard with competitors pass, drink bottle and timetable for the events. After leaving the main arena we thought we would go buy ourselves some memorabillia however all attendants said that stalls would not be open until 1500hrs when registrations began. This was lucky incident number one. We actually signed up 6 hours early. Yee Ha.

So we returned to the main arena at about 1400hrs after lunch to sit and wait for the stalls to open. Within half an hour or so, officials for the games starting locking these main doors and placing signs up stating the opening time. Funny thing was we were on the inside and Susan and I with about 100 other competitors were ushered in to the main arena as though we were something special. Lucky incident number 2.

Could this be the beginning of many great things to come. Boy, was I in for the shock of a lifetime.

It's coming up

So today was set to be the day. I knew it was going to be a hard session in the water. I had, I think about 2 weeks to go to the Masters Championships and I must admit I was feeling pretty damn good in all aspects of my life. My back was hardly hurting at all now and i was feeling strong. People were now commenting about how fit I look, versus how much weight I had put on, and gees "You look puffy".

So anyway, back to the reason of this post. I knew it was going to be hard. Barry would give me my session a week in advance. I was scared. I was doing 4x175m Freestyle and 4x175m Backstroke all at about 85%.

I started off with the Backstroke seeing as it was my favourite stroke and knocked those out reasonably well I thought. I was finishing each 175m Backstroke with enough breath to continue talking to Barry and my best friend Susan. Anyone who knows me knows I like to have a good gas bag...

The Freestyles were set to be another story. The first one came and went without too much hassle, the second had me feeling light headed. Now the third one was a doozie. I remember touching the wall and looking up at Barry and Susan and wondering "why are there two of each?". My body had gotten the shakes so bad all I could do was walk about 2m to a bench at the end of the pool and there i sat for a little bit. That was until someone turned on the saliva tap in my mouth.

I felt so unwell but wishing at that point I had not eaten baked beans and toast for breakfast. The thought of that making its way up was just TOO MUCH. The bathrooms were too far away and I knew that I didnt have the energy to get there anyway so the closest thing were some bushes. Luckily all I did was heave. My stomach started to settle after some water and a couple of Glucodin tablets, courtesy of Susan. I can recall just sitting at the table back at the other end of the pool and Barry giving me 15 minutes of respite and then being told I had one more to go. God love him!!

I requested another 5 minutes of rest and then churned out the last 175m and thanked God it was over. I had done it. I had almost spewed and survived. Nothing was holding me back.

Acres of Diamonds

" Your diamonds are not in far distant mountains or in yonder seas;
they are in your own backyard, if you but dig for them"
Russell H, Conwell.

The Black Line.

Never thought I would be so happy to see it again. The black line that used to be the thorn in my side as a child was now my best friend. I found comfort and respite from all my negative thoughts. The weightlessness I experienced in the water took me back to the days when I felt on top of the world. I was able to just be me in the water. I didn't have to pretend to be happy or put on a brave front, when at times all I wanted to do was crawl into ball and hide somewhere. This long lost friend of mine was giving me back what I thought I had lost. "ME".

The following 9 weeks would see me accomplish things I never thought possible at the beginning of my journey. I went from training 2 days a week to 3 and 4. Before I knew it I was training 6 days a week. I was swimming 3 times a week, doing 2 bootcamp sessions with Barry and I continued with my personal training sessions.

The weight was shifting, slowly but surely. All the clothes I had bought because I was larger were now not fitting. Thank goodness I spent alot of time in tights and sweat shirts. I really began to notice it in my swimmers. What were once tight and pulling were now getting so loose I could have used it as a drag net at the beach. Time for a new cossie. My reward. YAY!!!

When my best friend and I would compare notes about training sessions she would always say to me "I have worked so hard I was nearly vomiting". I thought it must have been because she was doing heaps of reps on the track, that would make me tired. But I always wondered why I never felt that way. Clearly I wasnt pushing myself hard enough. Time to up the anti.

Oh boy.

What had I done. The World Masters Championships sounded like a great idea up in my head and in conversations with my best friend - who had also signed up. But what was I thinking. I had really only been to the pool in the last 18 months about 5 times. Did i really think I would measure up or atleast put up a little challenge to others in my swim heat. These where questions that had no answers yet, but I was going to try damn hard to put up atleast a little bit of a challenge when the time came to compete.

My personal training sessions with Barry continued only this time they were kicked up a notch. Sessions intensified as my stamina and strength improved. But I liked it. I used to finish my sessions feeling totally overwhelmed by how tired I was. It would take me atleast 15-20 minutes to recover after each session and be able to talk without panting. I clearly remember after one session returning home feeling tired only to wake up the next morning being unable to put on my bra because my arms felt as though they belonged to someone else. As the next couple of days passed, that feeling progressed everywhere else, oh well NO PAIN NO GAIN.

I was going to be one lean mean fighting machine.

Photo of me in June at the beginning.

Sick of being sick.

I felt like I was jinxed. About a week after I twisted my ankle, I came down with the laryngitis. What was going on with my body? I was such a fit teen and although this back condition started fairly soon after having the twins, I think I was still fairly fit in my 20's. But what was happening to me now in my 30's I could have only classed as unfair. I felt like every step I took forward, something would happen that would set me back even further than when I started.

Once again I had to get focused and re-motivate myself, but this time it was easier. I had just had enough of it all. I was sick of being sick. Sick and tired of being asked how I was feeling and just falling into the pattern of the same old line " yeah ok, but my back is sore". I didnt want to be defined as that person you didnt want to have a conversation with because their illness was all they talked about.

So I got tough and expected nothing less than 100% of myself and if something hurt while I was doing it - I could stop, but I had to find a more suitable alternative right away. Likewise if I got sick, I just had to get back on the training road without too much delay.

So, needless to say when I returned to training my stamina was almost back to square one but this time I came back with a purpose other than to lose weight, I wanted to compete in the World Masters Games held here in Sydney. This was my goal and I had 9 weeks to train for it. Talk about cutting it fine.