Forward.

Baby steps forward, that's what I have been taking since my last blogpost. No activity has been the flavour of the week, and might I say - although I was quite down in dulldrums, I have since tried to focus on the pleasures to be had by not trying to squeeze in a workout whilst tired. I am refuelling the mind with comforting words from many sources (friend and literature alike) and the body with fresh fruit and vegies and a bucket load of the good stuff H2O.

I have taken walks through my garden, and although at first my steps felt dull and lifeless due to fatigue.

The beauty to be had brightened my perspective immensely.

I mean look at the little guy. Working tirelessly - fleeting from one flower to another with one goal in mind. Talk about devotion and dedication to a cause. Lesson to be learnt from this little individual.

I also got to focus on writing some Chrissy cards on these beautiful little cards sent to me from Kirsten at paperbyforgetmenot. How cute are they!!! Kirsten is so gifted and talented - make sure you check out all her wares. Thankyou, your a gem.

During this downtime I also got to focus on my nutrition and have been eating really well. But I still think I need help - so I have enlisted the help of a Sports Nutritionist. I really need someone to hold my hand and guide for me a couple of weeks atleast so I understand exactly what, when, how and why of what I should be eating to get the most out of everyday.

Look forward to meeting up with Rebecca on Monday. Should be an eye opener. From now until then I have to fill out a food diary so she can see my daily intake and exercise regime. I wonder what she will say.

Barb's mind is back on track.

Not much week.

So far this week I have only done 47kms. Tuesday as you recall I was hot, bothered and tired but I mustered up enough strength to get it done. Yesterday I was meant to do my swim and track work - but just couldn't. Apart from kids piano lessons and Kyle going to an end of year pool party I just didn't have enough "get up and go" for my at home 40min run that I was supposed to do.

I am also mentally in a slump today. Which is why I am having another day off. If there is one thing I am getting good at and that is listening to my body. But at the same time I am feeling very upset that I am missing out on all my training. I would have dearly loved to have gone to track last night but even if I didn't have any other prior engagements the quality of my session would have been poor. I am frustrated. Can you tell?

I am over being tired and complaining about it.

Will this get better? I sure hope so. This taking 2 steps forward and 3 steps back does my head in. It never happened with my swimming - but then again I was younger and the distances were alot different and I was only focused on one discipline.

So thought I would just vent for a bit and get it off my chest - has it made me feel better - not really. Would a catnap help - probably. Can I get a catnap - NO, children have now finished school for the year. This is another thing I am starting to fret about. How am I meant to get all my training in without it interfering with family and life. How am I meant to split myself in two pieces let alone 2 thousand pieces and still leave a little something for me at the end so I can recover. I don't know how to do this and it is making me feel anxious as well.

How do you all manage it once the kids are home for the holidays?

Drippety Drip.

The weather is Sydney has been absolutely atrocious for a couple of weeks now. If it's not raining torrentially then it's sunny and humid - which makes for very hot and sticky training. I think this has been half the reason why I took that little turn on Saturday at swim training. The earth's atmosphere feels really heavy and thick - and most mornings I am waking up to a decent amount of fog and haze which signals another day of heat and high humidity.

Sauna Training

Makes me wonder how people who live in this sort of weather year round do it - or even though professional triathlete's who compete once a year in it cope. Heat and humidity are probably my worst enemy and if I could have a choice as to the time I year I would prefer to train in it would be Spring or Autumn - perfect weather really.

Even my Doc who has now put me on a preventer for my Asthma has mentioned the increase in people coming in with complaints about allergies and ailments related to our crazy weather. I am now on 1 puff twice daily of Seretide. Hopefully this will reduce my need for Ventolin (reliever) during my workouts by helping strengthen my lungs. Don't really like being on steroid again but this gets right to the problem versus being systemic like the Prednisone I was on for my back.

So yesterday I went for my interval bike ride. It was meant to be 2hrs worth but I just didn't have it in me. 1hr and 35mins later I pulled up home after doing 5 x 10min Zone 3 intervals and just felt BLAH. But I knew I still had a 20min run off the bike to do. So I got changed even though every fibre of my being was yelling out to have a shower and rest and headed out the door in this oppressive humidity.

Every step was painful - not because I had injured something - I just was really struggling to put one foot in front of the other. The only thing that really got me through was knowing that when I got home I could have a super cold drink of water and a freezing cold shower. I also noticed something else during this run that is a slight cause for concern in terms of how my body handles heat - I was getting goosebumps (yep the kind you get when you are freezing cold). If didn't just happen once, it happened a few times which made me hurry home even quicker to cool down. I couldn't even rest on the side of the road to cool down as there are absolutely no trees where I run. Will have to start looking at different times of the day to train for running which is hard when I am expected to do those bike/run bricks.

Then last night I went to have dinner with a dear friend who I haven't seen in ages. We ate yummy pizzas and salad and better yet we laughed a whole heap. Thanks Marisa for a beautiful evening. I have never eaten so much as I did last night. I almost devoured a whole pizza by myself and although my stomach was in agony after eating it all cause I was that full - I enjoyed every morsel and did not feel guilty. In fact I have to eat like crazy to regain the 2kgs I have dropped in the last week. I am now teetering at 64kgs on a 178cm frame and vowed I wouldn't drop below 65 so it's now time to just eat, eat, eat.

Where'd that come from?

How is it you can go from feeling so good one minute, to totally BLAH the next back to okay in a 20 min turnaround? Seems my body wanted to give me a wake up call and let me know who was in control.

Saturday was a pretty regular day - woke up - didn't do much at all apart from the usual house stuff and then headed off to the pools in the afternoon for my swim session. I felt fine through the warm up and 900m worth of drills - nothing, not an inckling of what was about to happen. The only thing I was feeling were tight shoulders however I even went so far as to let Chris the coach know how good I was feeling and how I had run a total of 23km for the week and felt good.

As we headed into our main set of 6 x 300m (done as 50m, 100m 150m in 40, 1:20, 2:00 respectively) I knew something was amiss. I just wasn't able to get my breath effectively in the first 300. I put it down to that initial need for added oxygen when you increase your workout. But as the next one started I really, really felt myself gasping for air. No matter how hard I tried to get a decent breath I just couldn't. It was as if I had a belt being tightened on every inhaled breath.

It got to the point where I could literally hear air moving loudly through the air passages. I signalled to Chris and he asked if I was alright - all I could do was signal for my puffer. Man, can he run like the wind. I made my way out of the pool to meet him half way and quickly took my inhaler. It has been ages - I mean years since something has happened like that to me. It's really a frightening experience and has just made me realise that I need to never, ever forget my puffer EVER. One of my friends mentioned about having it with me (onboard) when I do my open water swims. Definately makes sense - which more than likely have to put it in a zip lock sandwich bag to keep it dry.

After some rest on the side of the pool I took off again but at a much slower pace - just trying to relax the airways. It's something I was always taught to do from a young age. My coach back then would make me do kick when I was having a minor attack - just so I could focus on my breathing. He would walk beside me until it settled and then I was expected to just get back into it once it was done. So I guess that mentality stuck - keep moving.

After squad was done - I was left sort of feeling a bit flat but other than that the lungs felt good - like nothing had happened. But I did realise that maybe I needed to go back on a preventer like in my younger days. The fact that I am pushing myself harder and harder everytime indicates to me that the possibility of my exercise induced asthma reering it's ugly head again is extremely high. So that's where I am off to today apart from a swim and run of course.

Yesterday, I started the Sunday off with a really nice 60km ride with 2 friends. This ride was interspersed with some tempo stuff but all in all it was quite a nice and enjoyable ride. The weather was perfect - really still apart from the loud laughs and chatter of 3 women out for a ride at 0630am. Thank goodness where we ride is fairly rural so the houses are positioned quite a ways back from the road, otherwise we would have heard some colourful language.

After getting home we decided to pop the Christmas tree up. A little late this year but better late than never. Mum decided to bring her presents over as we will be spending Christmas Day together this year - last year I think we did Christmas Eve together.

What are you guys planning on doing for Chrissy?

I'm back - now for some photos.

I have been searching through the Hills Tri Club website for the last week awaiting these photos and they are here. I really like my cycling shots but my running ones always seem to accentuate how little I actually raise my legs off the floor.

Talk about popping veins on my neck.

Nearly done.

Critique away.

Even the guy behind me seems to be questioning my running style.

I am trying to get better at improving my style but I guess some things take longer than others. I think I also need to relax my arms - I look like I am going into battle.

Yesterday when I went for my bike ride I came across a very unfamiliar sound, the river that runs near home which has usually been still and dry was now full of running water thanks to all the rain we have had over the last week or so.

There's just something about the sound of running water that I find really relaxing. I stood at this bridge for a while and just took in everything - the sounds, the smells, the beautiful view - I am sure the motorists driving by where wondering what this woman was contemplating, all alone staring out over a precipice. I have driven this road many a time and never really stopped to take in all of what it has to offer, and now that I have I will be stopping more often.

When I got home from the ride I quickly stopped by the local newsagent hoping that one of my friends from the Tri Club had made it into the local Penrith Press. His story is truly one of remarkable strength - not just physically but mentally as well. Here, have a read:

100km later and Luke's still smiling - priceless.

And for more news within our local circle my friend Andrew aka Macca scored himself some first positions in the Clarence St Cyclery Cup 2010.

• 1st Open Men's Combined Scratch Race (Div 3/4)
• 1st Clarence St Cyclery Cup Wheel Race Repechage 1.

Congrats Macca.

I was meant to go and watch this race but I had my Sprint Tri on at the same time. I have never been to the Velodrome before and I am more than 100% sure I would love it. The insane speed these cyclists get up to has my jaw dropping to the floor. My question though is How do you stop? There's no brakes - my fear would be coming to an abrupt stop by means of a collision - which I know has happened more times than not. And if I was to have a go at the Velodrome I would need the St Johns Ambulance there to pull me out of a mass of mangled bike metal. I take my hat off to you Macca.

My see if we can sort out having a go at it - would be fun.

Issues, Issues, Issues.

Firstly, I would like to say I have not been purposefully ignoring everyone's blogs. I have a legitimate reason for my absence - something is wrong with my laptop again. I cannot comment on quite a few of your blogs due to the pop up window which normally allows me to comment coming up empty. It's not on everyone's so please don't feel I have been ignoring you purposefully. I took it to the computer guy today as well as my other computer and he said he would have to have them both for a few days - so not wanting to be without a computer I left him one and kept my laptop and will now just put up with it till the other comes back. I am also unable to post photos through blogger for the same reason - this I find quite annoying considering I had a piece I wanted to discuss about a friend of mine who is a great cyclist. This will have to wait as some other photos I have.

With the weather being as crazy as it has been over the last week it's been a matter of trying to fit in things when there has been a break in the weather, and this morning was no different. It even almost looked as though the clouds might clear but I think Mother Nature was pulling our leg. I took off at 0815 and after a nice hours ride and 25km later, and although no rain, the clouds were ever so menacing and there was even some deep foreboding rumbles.

This afternoon I took off for my third run for the week and I must say it is feeling easier - not by much but I can feel a slight difference in the level of energy I am expending - even when its as hot as hell and the humidity level is beyond anything I can tolerate. This whole week I have been wanting it to stop raining but this afternoon all I was wishing for was a downpour to help cool me off. And to make matters slightly worse I had a headwind and a crosswind for most of it. - however that said I did it in 41:57 which makes it a 5:30min/km pace. One thing I am pleased to say is that after those 3 runs I have clocked 23km of running this week. Not bad I think considering there was a time there where I though that maybe I would never be able to run again.

Another thing I have noticed since increasing my workload is how much more I am sweating and how much more I stink. Driving me nuts - I posed this question on Daily Mile and a friend of mine Allison sourced this amazing article. Totally explains everything. Kind of embarrassed to own up about it but I really thought there was something wrong with me. She said it's really quite common amongst bodybuilders, marathon runners, long distance athletes. I really learnt alot - like I should be eating more carbs so my body can use this as it's fuel source.

Have a read and tell me what you think.

What has happened to Summer

Summer is supposed to be here today, but it seems we have had the wettest introduction to Summer since the 1940's. Just what I need really when all I want is to get out and ride my bike in the sun. Spring was absolutely glorious and now, all there is everywhere you look is grey clouds filled with rain. Really I shouldn't complain as being on tank water, the more it rains the less water we have to buy. It's just that it interferes so badly with everything and the one thing I find challenging is the indoor trainer. But if it has to be done, it has to be done.

So that's exactly what I did yesterday. 90 minutes worth of indoor trainer and some interval training thrown in and I was done. Lucky the one thing that is good about the trainer is that you get to watch something interesting on TV. The 38kms didn't feel too bad at all. I still got a decent workout and was dripping sweat by the time I finished - not too shabby at all I might say.

With more rain forecasted for the remainder of the week I knew it would be a fingers crossed moment for track yesterday evening. Obviously swimming is never affected as you can pick and choose whether you want to go indoors or not - which is what I did. Yesterdays swim set was tough but I am glad I got it done. It really opened my eyes as how fit I am and how much more I have got to give - there's still alot more in this little engine.

• 300m Warm up
• 12 x 25m sprints leaving on 45 secs. I did them all on 15secs
• 6 x 100ms - first 25m hard then rest easy. All done around 1:20.
• 1km time trial 15:05
• 2 mins rest
• 500m time trial 7:27
• 1 min rest
• 500m time trial 7:23
• 300m cool down.

The only difference doing this set next week will that be it might be a bit slower as this yesterday I swam short course. More tumbleturns indicates more rest but also more pushoffs, so next weeks times I think will be slightly more accurate.

So with track cancelled I thought maybe it would be a night of rest - but that was not to be. I got an email from my coach stating that it would be good should the rain hold out to do a 40minute run with 6 x 1min intervals at race pace with a 2min recovery jog inbetween. So, that's what I did. This is hard work. 7.6km, 41 mins, and a few stomach cramps later I was done. I even did it in the rain - how's that for commitment. Intervals in the pool and on a bike I can deal with but running intervals are hard, hard, hard. Especially because when I do the recovery run all I want to do is walk I am that out of breath. I didn't walk apart from at the 5km mark when my lower abdo cramps got the better of me and I then succumbed to the walk gods for maybe 50m's, but no sooner did they relent I was off running again.

Then last night in my infinate wisdom I decided to do something that would challenge me. A couple of posts back I stated how I have a fear of the open water - well yesterday I signed up for the Sydney Morning Herald "Cole Classic". Yep, I have signed up for the Open Water 2km swim in my age category. I must be totally bonkers or totally driven to not let these open water swim monsters beat me. A slightly scary thought but I figured there will be thousands of other swimmers so chances of me being picked out as a tasty morsel is fairly remote. I also have my own fundraising page http://www.everydayhero.com.au/barbara_hughes_2, I will be raising money for NETS (Newborn Emergency Transport Service). Whatever spare cash you have would be greatly appreciated as this team of nurses, doctors and specialists are true gems.

Stay tuned for a special blog post on one of my friends this afternoon.