Its a love hate relationship.

Since commencing my training, my love for swimming has returned, and I now strive to swim a little more everytime I get in the pool. As part of having joined the Tri Club I now participate in their swim squad once a week on a thursday night. Week 1 - 4 weeks ago, I completed 2500m and felt so tired on getting out that I don't think I could string two sentences together. My body ached all over from the last cell of keratin in my hair to the ends of my not so delicate toes. Susan and I walked out of the pool wondering what in god's name had we gotten ourselves into. On our way home Susan gave me a call on the mobile just so I could keep her awake for the drive home. I was so proud of what she had accomplished and I am sure she was equally proud of me.

As week 2 drew closer I started to get nervous, simply because I knew what lay ahead and I know me - I am not happy with staying the same. 3500m and 90 minutes later I surfaced from the pool with a grin and the need for some much needed rest and Ibuprofen. I was so proud of myself, I had come so far when at times I thought it would never be possible again. I really missed the squad life even though as a child I immensely detested being told when to wake up, how much I had to swim, what comps to go in...yadda yadda yadda. Now I'm the boss of me and I am definately tougher on me than they ever were. I won't allow myself to give up.

3800m in week 3 and I was feeling great. The variety of the training sessions made it almost feel effortless....NOT, it was still hard but atleast it beats swimming up and down over and over again aimlessly. I think the coach can tell how excited I am about getting better every week as I am constantly asking how much I have done halfway through the session so I can beat my score before time is up. "Are we there yet, are we there yet". I so badly want every week to be an improvement on the last and so far so good.

Last week I felt it. Although I made it to 4km, every lap was so painfully slow and torturous. I had the runs all day and my stomach was cramping what felt like every 5 minutes. I really shouldn't have gone, I should have stayed at home and rested but there goes that stubborness and persistant streak again. I was getting motion sick in the water and I felt quite spewy. If I could get through this lesson without letting things come up, I think I could just about tackle anything the triathlon had to offer. As it was, I survived but when I got home all I could do was have a shower, say goodnight to the children and Stephen and curl up in the foetal position in bed and go to sleep. When I woke up in the morning I felt no side effects of the previous nights efforts. I felt great.

I was trying harder and harder every week and my fast recovery was the proof of my efforts.

Running is like walking, only faster.

Atleast that is what I tried to tell myself when I knew my weightloss and get well journey was on a roll. Trying to run when I was overweight was really painful. So I naturally thought the less I weighed the less stress there would be on my joints. But unfortunately that has not been the case for me. My hips, knees and ankles continue to hurt regardless. I do think that structurally I was not designed to run. I am flat footed, I have knock knees and my back has arthritis, not the best combination for a runner, but nonetheless I shall continue to forge forward to reach my goal. Things in the running department just have to be at a slower pace for me.

After the 5km Fun Run I was in pain for about 4 days. Ibuprofen and Paracetamol were my new best friends. Whilst I was up and walking slowly things were somewhat manageable, but when it came to sitting down or trying to stand up - that was a different story. My muscles would seize up totally and trying to stand on sore joints made me wonder if this was truly worth it. But after four days rest, my brain cells rehydrated themselves and I began to think straight again.

During my bootcamp sessions we would always start off with a warm up run and most times we do running inbetween activities. So when I started getting shin pains I thought, "give it a chance, things will come right". So I continued to push myself and I am now on week 3 of NO RUNNING. Please take heed, listen to your body. I didn't and now I feel like I am behind the eight ball. This triathlon is drawing nearer and my running, not great to start off with - is now probably worse than ever. I know my legs need the rest to recover, but running is such a unique discipline I feel like I am going to be a total disgrace on the day if I don't get cracking on the training. "Patience young Jedi".

Panthers Tri Club

I joined the local triathlon club. The gentleman at the bike shop gave me a discount on my bike by joining - I couldn't miss the chance of getting a discount, after all I am a girl. But now that meant I definately had to do a triathlon. There was no backing out even if I wanted to. I hadn't even signed up for one yet, how does one do this and which one would be suitable. Thank goodness I have friends in the know.

I had heard discussions through my bootcamp class friends. There were many small tri's around but the one that caught my attention was the TriShave Women's Triathlon. I liked the fact that is was all women, I wouldn't feel like such a "doofus". I could mingle in the swarm of other women and feel safe and protected. Also, there was a possibility of some of my friends doing this event with me. I was up for the challenge but only if my friend's held my hand.

I jumped on the registration site and filled out the necessary criteria but stalled numerous times upon hitting the send icon. My finger was like it had a mind of it's own and just would not let me press it. I stalled and stalled and stalled until finally I did a Lleyton Hewitt "C'mon". And without another thought it was gone into cyberspace. Off to TriShave World. Instantly, I was excited and scared. I SMS'ed everyone, I thought the more people I tell the more they can rev me up and keep me motivated during the initial phase.

Once I get going I know I have the will and drive to motivate myself. I am also stubborn and hate not succeeding in something once I have set my mind to it. By succeed I don't mean winning, I just like to see things through to the end, regardless of the obstacles set before me. The obstacles make me want it even more.

So now I know how to swim, I have my bike - just need to keep on practising, and I have signed up. What's next? Oh yeah, running!!! All I can say is OUCH!!!

Special thought for the day

I wanted to share this wonderful passage that I just only read from a book of inspirational thoughts that was given to me by a dear friend Tracy during our 2009 Christmas party. The book is called "Keep believing in yourself and your dreams" edited by Patricia Wayant, Blue Mountains Press.

There's no challenge you can't face

Challenges make us stronger.

They push us to try harder.

They allow us to be brave.

They offer us courage.

They engender hope in us.

And sometimes we go farther

than we ever dreamed possible....

just by believing that we can.

"Ashley Rice"

Piecing it together, bit by bit.

Ok, so as you can tell I purchased myself a bike. Am I scared about riding it for the first time since I was like 12? "Damn right I am". Why I here you ask, well the potential for falling off was quite high. Needing the assistance of the rescue and recovery crew to recover me from the wreckage after I had come to a complete stop was even higher still. I hate not being in control and the thought of surrendering my whole being to this metal object with wheels was a touch scary. Don't get me wrong,I absolutely love my bike. It's black and slick looking, and has great racing wheels and I even have a helmut to match. Gotta look good even though you have no clue what your doing, Oh and it has gears - lots of them.

The guy at the bike shop said to me as I was leaving with my beautiful black bike, "increase your ride time slowly and try to ride atleast 3 times a week so your legs adjust". Ok, sounds easy enough. Hold that thought while I compose myself and stop laughing. EASY, not quite.

My first ride was merely a 5km flat surfaced ride for all bar two tiny bridges. Looked easy, I ran this in the fun run. The bike guy said to keep the left gear on 2 and the right gear on a 4 or 5. Which is what I did. I was a bit wobbly almost like watching a newborn giraffe trying to stand. I do think it would have been funny to watch, however I was so tense up there I don't think I really enjoyed that first ride.

Things to take note of for the next ride were:

• Relax hand grip, white knuckle grasp is not favourable for circulation in fingers.
• Relax shoulders and neck, very important for turning and seeing where you are going.
• Legs that are heavy like concrete yet wobble like jelly post cycle are the norm.
• Feeling like you have been on a horse ride for the last week post cycle is also the norm.

How did I used to ride my bike for hours on end as a child? I don't remember things hurting that bad, least of all my bottom. It felt battered and bruised and as a result of the pain it altered the way I walked. I thought I looked like a cowboy post rodeo ride....lol

So with my ego about as bruised as my behind, I made my way home. Two to three times a week, thats what the guy said. Stay focused!!!

Love the open water

The "Have a go swim" on the 28th of November 2009 was set to be another memorable day. It was about 40 degrees celsius with quite strong winds that came in waves over the course of the day. I was loving the idea that soon I would be in the water. There is no better place to be when the earth is at its scorching best.

Once again I had my own personal cheer squad (Stephen, kids and mum)there for support. I was going to have to start paying them shortly for their time and efforts...lol. What would I do without them. When I doubt myself or am just feeling the nerves of an event their words of encouragement spur me on like no other.I don't know why I get so nervous, I have just always been that way. My fiercest competitor in the water has always been me. I was never happy with anything less than my best. And that was probably true for other aspects in my life. Sometimes that was a good trait but other times it left me deflated because I never felt I could live up to the standards that I had set for myself.

In the water though it was a different story. I knew I could just always squeeze out hard work cause it felt so natural. I knew I could do this 500m with my eyes shut. The murkiness of the water meant that even with goggles on it felt like my eyes were shut....literally. I couldnt wait. I wanted to see how I would go in open water. My time in a pool for the 500m distance was 8min 15 sec. Following a black line makes life so much easier in comparison to murkiness and close to zero visibility. Oh well, life is a challenge and I was going to prove to myself that I could do this.

As the starters gun went off I just thought to myself, stick to the guy on your left hand side. Keep him within view and he will set the pace to follow. What I didn't bank on was that I felt great in the water and taking the lead felt good too.He did push me all the way though. The choppiness of the water did not bother me one bit, it felt quite natural actually and I quite enjoyed not having to stop and do a tumbleturn every 50m. But you do get fatigued alot quicker too.

I started to feel my lack of stamina with about 100m to go and even though I was slightly lifting my head to visualise the finishing line I was going all over the place and that was sapping the energy right out of me. Needless to say, when I crossed the line first i was extremely excited but very tired. I finished with a time of 8min 17 secs. Not bad for no black line and murky, unchlorinated water. WooHoo. Bring on the 1km for my next challenge.

And bring on a Triathlon. I want to do a triathlon. This is my future goal and I will do it.

Could this be it.

Many a time when I was training heavily for the Masters I wondered if there would come a time when my weightloss would begin to stagnate. I was aware that muscle mass weighed more than fat and I was also aware that if I had more lean muscle that I would continue to burn fat stores even at rest. So why is it I stopped losing weight so shortly after ceasing the intense training. I weighed myself morning, noon and night to see if there was some diurnal variations, I even resorted to weighing myself before I did a pee and after I did a pee. "Don't laugh, I know you have all done it". The only answer I came up with was that I had no answer. My body had just decided that it didn't want to lose anymore for the moment. And I just had to be happy with that.

For four long gruelling weeks my weight increased by 200gms and decreased by 200gms. I sat at 72kgs. Not my goal weight, but what could I do. I was still eating the same healthy food and consuming the same 1500 cals. The only thing that was keeping me on target were my measurements, they were changing - and for the better. I was losing centimetres from every where, even from my neck which was the part I was wanting to lose it from the most. I know, sounds weird, but when I was on Prednisone I ended up with a hump on my back close to my neck which I can only compare to "Quasimoto". I was not an animal or a Brahman bull I was me, Barbara Hughes.

I realised that the less emphasis I placed on my weight loss the happier I was. I was still exercising and still accomplishing things. The weightloss was a bonus not the sole driving force. I was just a happier, healthier more rounded individual. Everything else would fall into place, I was certain of it.